"Love your neighbor as yourself."

When it comes to being well in the mind, the body and the spirit, loving others and yourself is a crucial component. Focusing on self-care allows a person the opportunity to put in ample effort to explore interests, rejuvenate the mind and develop personal uniqueness so that the best version of him/herself is available to others. Loving and caring for your own well-being is done with an intention that longs to share little pieces of yourself with others.

The field of Positive Psychology takes the idea of loving others and yourself one step further as it highlights the beauty of connecting with others via three domains: the pleasant life, the engaged life and the meaningful life.

It is defined as “the scientific study of valued subjective experiences: well-being, contentment and satisfaction (in the past); hope and optimism (for the future) and flow and happiness (in the present). Each of these is established through connections with others and leads to the full life which is the end state when the three domains merge (1).

What better way to develop personal satisfaction than to live a life centered around the expression of gratitude to those around us?

A few suggestions for loving your neighbor?

1. Bake a few homemade goodies for the postal worker, the sanitation crew or the secretary at your child’s school. #loveyourneighbor

2. While making your weekly grocery run, make a conscious effort just to look up and smile at other shoppers, engage more with the cashiers and ask questions just for the sake of conversing. In some small way you’re making others feel loved by such tiny gestures. #loveyourneighbor

3. Living far away from family can seem a bit lonely. Or even if you find yourself in the same neighborhood as those most dear, make a point to reach out. Send snail mail, a short text or even give a phone call if you are able to make the time. Touch base and brighten their days. #loveyourneighbor

Did you know? When you reach out and support someone else, studies show that it increases longevity and reduces blood pressure - even as much as controlling diet and exercise. When you reach out to others it starts to build resilience and helps you to heal - mentally and physically (2).

In order to love those around you and give them the best version of yourself, you've got to first love who YOU ARE. It’s no use making an attempt to give away to others - whether it's time, energy, or emotional support- when feeling less than your best.

Try this short exercise to build up your self-esteem and begin to view yourself in a more positive light:

1. Find a quiet space.

2. Take a minute to clear your mind and begin breathing more deeply.

3. Mentally (or written if preferred) compose a list of 5 traits that make you unique. Try to develop your ideas from a range of categories (abilities, interests, passions, physical, personality). 

4.  Create a statement that can be recited daily to increase self-esteem (or choose from below)

"I have my best days ahead of me."

"I have the strength I need for today."

"I have confidence to go forward."

"I have everything I need."

"I am enough."

"I am creative and innovative."

"I was made to do good things."

Begin to shift your thinking today and start loving who you've been made to be, as peculiar or silly or odd as you may think you are. Those around you will thank you greatly for being authentic, loving yourself and being free enough to love them as well. Because when you do, you’ll start to live a full life.

References:

1. Green, D. J. (n.d.). Coaching Behavior Change(N. D. Muth, Ed.). American Council on Exercise.

2. How to Deal with Loneliness [Television series episode]. (2018, August 26). In The Dr. Leaf Show. YouTube.